ben bauchau - A Place For My Dark Thoughts.

I make drawing about my anxiety, and how it's like to live with it. A Place For My Dark Thoughts is a book compiling a series of contemplative illustrations about my experience with anxiety, it's ugliness and beauty, it's complexity and intensity.

The aim of this book is to share this complex issue with people who might need support, the way I used to, and to help other people understand the issues their relatives might have, in a unique and creative vision.

This all started out of a need as an illustrator, to express these intimate, complex feelings infused by anxiety, fear and loneliness, in a way that I could not do with words.

You can support the project on KICKSTARTER.

It all started out of a need as an illustrator, to express these intimate, complex feelings infused by anxiety, fear and loneliness, in a way that I could not do with words.

After drawing a few of these illustrations, I realized the act of drawing them truly helped me as an outlet, and focusing on trying to draw these feelings also helped me understand the issues much more, which lead to opening up, and feeling relieved.

I used to go against anxiety, or at least, living unaware of its presence, until I reached a point in life where it became too intense and I started questioning myself. I started paying attention to my feelings, which lead to a troublesome period. Drawing helped in that weird process of learning to live with anxiety. It's not an easy way to go, but today I'm fully aware of these problems, and for that reason, among others, I live a much better, conscious and balanced life.

I recently took a step back on this body of work I've completed, and felt like I could do more with these illustrations. When you're under the heavy burden of anxiety, it's often a huge help to feel that you're not alone. I can't count how many times I had to look up online or wherever to find testimonies from other people dealing with anxiety or panic attacks and find strength through their struggle. It seemed to me that compiling these otherworldly images in a book and accompany them with words that I am finally able to write down today, could become a great piece of craft which could act as a supportive companion to people who need it.

This is nothing new, but I'm convinced that this book can participate in growing awareness around mental health issues, in a singular way. Some of the illustrations set a dark tone, which might hurt some people's sensitivity, but it is exactly because of my own sensitivity and how these thoughts and images made me grow, that I think going through them and accepting them is a key step for people to understand themselves, or people around them.

I hope you will feel my pain, my struggle, my growth and my humanity within this book, and find a way to feel better yourself.

Support the project on Kickstarter here.